How do people switch off? How do you manage to sit down and binge-watch a series on Netflix? I can’t even sit down and read a book now. My brain is continually racing at 100 miles an hour. I need to find projects, something to do, something to preoccupy my mind. Lazy moments become a virtual hellscape in my mind. My own mind is slowly torturing me. How do I switch anxiety off, I am fed up with onxiety.

“Have you tried mindfulness?” they ask. I have, but I still have the issue that when I try and slow down to live in the moment, my mind wolves come tearing in, and I’m off racing through a forest rather than just sitting there and basking in the glory of nature. It makes everything seem fruitless, even 10 minute Youtube videos are too long. I need to chill out, and I don’t like the traditional off switches of drugs and alcohol. The idea of a loss of control scares me.

Old hobbies now fill me with anxiety. Things I used to do scare me now. It slowly destroys me. My health and fitness are declining, filling me with more depression and anxiety. I try and escape, but I only ever seem to get a few days and then getting out of bed is the largest issue of that die. Lying there, wondering how it came to this? I used to have hopes and dreams.

I used to have hopes and dreams.

I used to have hopes and dreams.

I want to have hopes and dreams.