The Squirrel Manifesto

The main problem with people is that they are not squirrels. With squirrels, you know where you stand. Squirrels don’t want to talk to you; they certainly don’t want to raise your anxiety levels. Squirrels just want to be squirrels.

I like squirrels.

Do you like squirrels?

Squirrels are too intelligent to have invented politics. We think we’re clever because we did and they didn’t. We’ve totally got that round the wrong way. Every day you should ask yourself, “What would a squirrel do?” You’d then follow that course of action, and you’ll soon find that your life is a lot happier.

Cars are polluting the world. Squirrels run away from cars. They have been telling us for years of the dangers of car ownership, and we’ve never listened to them. They’ve watched us kill our environs, and tried to warn us but we were too self-important to listen.

Squirrels want us to invest and save for our future. They tried to show us that we should not just consume but put something away for the lean times. Squirrels are always prepared, are you? Don’t face a long, cold, hard winter without making sure you’ve saved enough.

Come join us in the squirrel movement and set yourself free.

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