These videos were slowly starting to make sense to me, maybe I was losing my mind after watching too many of them, or perhaps they were telling the truth of society, a truth that many other people and I just ignored as we had been conditioned to ignore it all our life. As soon as we started learning we were being taught to be good people and live by the rules, breaking the rules had repercussions but what if broke the rules so badly there were no rules anymore. A world that we could envision our own society upon. I lay back and started to wonder how I would remake society, would it be similar to this world we lived in, would it be different, and how would it affect everyone.
I became entranced with the idea of creating my own world, a place where things worked, and we didn’t just accept the status quo. After all, what had the status quo brought us? It had brought the planet to the brink of destruction. We had clung on in a few cities as the world was ravaged by extreme weather systems brought on by our chasing of wealth. From the videos it seemed like wealth brought power and power brought obfuscation and language gained in strength, as it gained power it evolved and now that it has the power over this ravaged planet it does not want to relinquish it.
What am I thinking? Am I becoming a conspiracy theorist, or are they telling the truth, the more I look, the more compelling it becomes. I want to believe, but should I really believe. I don’t know where to go, or who to talk to, what will happen to my job? Should I quit and start campaigning to change society, should I help free society from the imperfections it has in it. Is this idea of cleansing society a great idea, or am I proposing a genocide? A genocide of the wealthy. How did this happen? What is going on in my world? Why? Why does everything seem to be built on shifting sand? I feel manic, my mind is racing. What should I do? Where do I go from here? I need to slow down, but I think that if I slow down, I will lose the momentum in my thinking? Am I thinking clearly? What happens now? Where do I go? WHAT DO I DO? I throw my glass at the wall, as much to break the spell of my mood and as much to break the tension.
My mind is spasming. Have I converted myself? Will I now become one of the tinfoil hat brigades? WHAT DO I DO? My mind is racing, my heart rate is going through the roof. I can hardly breathe, I feel my mouth getting drier. I am working towards some sort of climax. The clarity that can help make or break this case, everything is getting closer, I can feel everything starting to clear, the fog of my mind is dissipating.