It now seemed a rant, a long-confused rant. I was confused myself if I was confused, would it be possible for others to understand? They could join me on the precipice; we could stand and hold hands, perhaps look at each other, no, not look at each other; must avoid eye contact. I’ll just feel guilty if we lock eyes.
I look at my life a lot; I look at other people’s lives. Neither of these options makes sense. I once believed that humans might be rational, and I now realize what a mistake that was. Perhaps we could sit the whole world down and have a cup of tea, we all sit down and realize we have fucked up. Now no one can make eye contact; we wonder whether the gods will notice, they don’t seem to have noticed anything for a while. Maybe a good cuppa will bring them out, make them realize that there is always time for a good smiting.
I wonder why I dived in.
What did I hope would happen?
Would everything suddenly become clear?