I pulled the car into the car park beside the café and thankfully there were spaces under the trees. I could deal with cleaning sap off at some point in the future but at least I would not have to come back to a car that was warm enough to cook a meal for four inside. Life is always full of pros and cons and you have to make sure that you get more pros than cons. I’m sure I could put that on one of those self-motivational memes. The memes that motivated to get the fuck off the internet and go do something productive, usually it is called putting the telly on.
Formica furniture is always the sign of a quality eating establishment, now even I don’t know if I am joking or making a serious point there but this place had certainly gone in for the Formica catalogue. I was slightly surprised when I realised the floor was actually yellowed tiles and not even more Formica. It had that smell you expect from a place that plies its trade selling sausage on a roll. Square sausage, by the way, none of that link shite. Proper square sausage. I knew I was going to leave here and smell like a fryer for the rest of the day. Still, at least they did coffee. Not one of those impressive and intimidating shiny stainless steel espresso machines. There was nobody here with a t-shirt on telling us they were a fully trained barista. There was none of that, there was though one of those wee push button coffee machines. Why train staff, when you can get just as mediocre a drink from a machine?
The lady serving though, she was intimidating. The kind of person you would not tell you had a fly in your soup. No, you would wait till you had left the country and would post that on Trip Advisor. She had on a red apron that looked like it had seen many fights in the kitchen, there was a lot of stains and it would probably have been a great game to guess what each of those stains was. I ordered my latte and caramel shortcake and went outside to watch the water with this meal, was it a meal or a snack, something in between? This idea was going to come back some night and make sure I couldn’t sleep as I battled to work out exactly how to describe what I was eating and drinking