It is all a game. A game we all will lose. We need to admit that humanity has made a mistake and that love does not exist, has never existed. We feel it but only in a transient passage, it comes and then it fails. The best idea is not to get caught up in its tangled web when it appears.
Admit it, all you really want to do is own the person. You want them to belong to you. They are a good, a commodity, something you want but like all wants it will be satiated, the minute you get it, once you have it it will be gone and you will be left with guilt and unease. Why then would you want to carry this guilt until the day you die? Why do you allow it to grow? You are not being true to yourself, do you honestly believe it will last?
It will never last. It never does. We are fed a romantic notion in order to sell us goods, keep us placated. You need to be an adult and have a loving family relationship. Do we need that? Do we need to hinge our happiness on another person? Marriage seems a doomed concept. Separate rooms, mortgage, and a feeling of constant of loathing, that is not loving. It is also not quite hate, it is a human-made condition.